Vulgar jokes and not-so..

Bad roads require good rogues.

Her legs, like epaulets - looked very good on men's shoulders.

Life - it's the turn of death, but only some of the climb out of turn.

I'll be a long drive. ( end quote ).

In history you can get, but you can plunge.

Old age - no joy, insanity - not orgasm!.

Tell me everything, until I fell asleep.

Free transport - no vaseline does not zalezesh.

Man was created to be happy as a bird for the oven.

Advertising - the engine of deceit!.

' Blood - the blood, bug - a granddaughter! '.

Night watchmen sleep and sometimes during the day.

Each gonorrhea - gonorrhea own.

Dolbitsa multiplication.

Her virginity was enough for three men and one impotent.

Footwear with diarrhea and without a receipt is not subject to exchange.

Pussy - the concept natyazhimoe.

Took food - take away the trough!.

Some seem brave, because they are afraid to run away.

Do not cut branch on which you sit.

That catch - and then poimeesh.

Rides on a red one with a lot of ' green '.

All women can not fuck, but should strive to do so!.

Not all the oil that floats!.

Day of fire - night unfold.

We're the same blood, Chuk and Gek!.

Talking with superiors polagaetsya silence!.

Not every killer, who quickly ends.

In the crew ran out of fuel. I had to fly sober.

Lukashenka has a problem - his ' bunny ' has fallen.

Money comes and goes and goes and goes.

Do not keep all your eggs in one scrotum.

There are two magic drink of the opposite action: 'Smirn off',.
disconnecting the client, and 'Smirn on', he awakens to new life.

Well, when the dog - a friend. But when a friend - the dog.

Sometimes it will start to slow down that you can not stop.

Three-piece suit: the pince-nez, a condom and tie.

On dead or good, or nothing. He's dead. well.

In every woman there is a highlight. But one can not eat a twist.
Due to the lack of toilet paper I ask to have in the common areas of complaints book.

Born to crawl, climb through all.

labor Prodigal.

Can not find the key to a woman's heart? .

Do not like women, do not torture body!.

But it was too late to pretend impotent.

Lottery - a tax on people who are not good at math.

I go, I see: someone threw a drink.

The fact that women like, a man often can not afford.

In a political world Gerasim could have been a staunch utopian.

The boat most brazenly stuck to the bank.

Departing extinguish all.

'Love? . at heart. '.

- Doctor, my head is spinning!.
- Sam I see!.

Slow and steady wins - no one should be.

Lifter was stubborn. But the elevator was able to fend for themselves.

May God grant each of you that have those with us!.

Pornometrazhny film.

Folk wisdom: The best beers from the belly than on the hump of the.

Born to fly to crawl long!.

Barges full of faeces.

As sugar is - so the two pieces, and sit on the dick - pussy narrow!.

Not that this does not spoil the goal as getting.

Better late than anybody!.

An old friend is better than new whores.
She frowned a narrow crotch.

Beat the person in the groin backhand.

Friends come and go. enemies accumulate.

Who is able to wake the sleeping - that is capable of any meanness.

Len How much zing!.

Not a good look at the black doberman guarded warehouse. Especially if it is there.

Number of intelligence on the planet - a constant. And the population grows.

On someone else's pubic area did not open his rotok!!.

A simultaneous exhibition in a box.

Who drank from my face, and squeezed it?.

Who do you me, the fool, accept?.

At the sight of the girls immediately felt a scoundrel.

Nothing strengthens the belief in man as PREPAYMENT.

If you find a horseshoe for good luck, it means someone else has recently dropped the hoof.

Soon, shit, the ball.

Evening for those who have over 30.

Finish the job, run out of zanachit.

Conscience clear, we - we do not use it!.

Good to be alive!.
A friend of Amy.

Men are much easier to break a twenty-year bond than the bond with the twenty.
It was a quiet night of St. Bartholomew.

Do not dig yourself a hole to another.

You work that we do not worry, we will not touch.

In the right hands, and dick balalaika.

Even if you eat, you have two choices.

Severe intellectual impairment.

Better than mountains can only be a woman, which has not yet been.

I do not remember evil. It is necessary to record.

Tell me who I am and I'll tell you who you are.

Do not trivialize my love for his consent.
The best way to get rid of temptation - is to succumb to it.

Comrade, Come to find out the cash.
Turn, saw me and wagged her tail fun.

Be easier on you and the people drawn.

She meets him with outspread. feet.

I came, I felt, loved.

Military director: ... '.
If the path is closed to the heart, the kidneys need to knock.
Who does not work, he was broken.

The less we love a woman - the more time for sleep.

He came, stuck and caught.

Winnie the Pooh and hunger.
Life - a sexually transmitted disease: sexually transmitted and ends lethally.

Sperm Engineer Garin.
Quiet climb - more vsunesh.

Who found a way trampled first.

The end is horrible. It can be seen - Gonorrhea.

Where would you have to send a dick?.
Not all the sun that rises!.

When you're near me, my life is filled with meaning.

The work is not a wolf, but a great beast!.

She was professionalkoy, and I lover. professional women!.

The farther into the forest, the FIG will return.

' Tell me mama, do not gift you gave to Frenchman? '.

And you do not blink, and ear!.

Want to go to dick - ask me how!.

Samovyrodok.

fell. It is easy. did not get up.
We have no government, and seksodrom - someone took off again today.

And wags die seriously.

The dog man's best friend, and a chemist - the enemy.
Although the dog.

Denominated in ' Oscar'.

Take care of your hair with the young!.

Finding a place in the sun, be afraid of sunstroke.

Sex - is not the answer. Sex - is the question. And the answer - ' yes'.

Lard - the power of sport - the grave.

You are now sent, Or by E- MAILu?.

If a person has a brain - that it affects his mind.

Elektrofekatsiya across the country.

The three commandments of the old prostitute:.
1) is treated only with good doctors;.
2) We are pleased to expensive;.
3) Do not fuss for the client and the client will sweat and crawl!.

And bored and sad, and no one in the face to.

A bunch of scrap usually sinks.

ad:.
The firm offers a full range of venereal pleasures.

Love - it is something light and high. Something like a chandelier.

Of life must take all. even that which is bad.

Down with prejudices - women, too, man!.

Get a passport - it's like losing your virginity. This only happens once in a lifetime.
Sin - the prospect of innocence!.

Contract killing - ordered an investigation.

One must live as though it's not you.

Mother Nature! .
You would sometimes send.
We shoot with an open mind.

For women the latitude longitude of important.

In order to lose weight, you just go to the toilet more often.

I give the floor of the kingdom, and his horse into the bargain!.

Those who say that the top of the ugly, have never been at the bottom of.

If my memory serves me no one changes, then I will remember.

Not by Juan sombrero.

Ubozhestvenny film.

Sometimes, if you have someone with a common table, you start to deal with him and the general chair.

Sasha was on the highway and sucked.

What further into the forest, the closer He got.

There is nothing to blame the mirror, if you stand back.

Mind - I suggest, suggested - do not run away.

My Genealogy: my grandfather - tough drunk ( get drunk, and then render it ), my dad - a shy drunk ( drink and then goes to the wall holding ), but I actually malopyuschy ( drink and I do a little).

Under a still love the penis does not go.

If you are late coming home from work, by mistake instead of water, drank a developer, fixer and drink, because it will not be brought to an end!.

Wolf sheep fed.

I had wings, and I felt a great flight!.

Berezovsky than sorry!.

Not all the swans that sticks out over the water.

TAMPAX KINGSIZE.

Fucking tram airlines!.

Fuck fuck someone, most importantly fuck, and fuck anyone, fuck it.

A woman in no withhold anything.

Himself as a goose - save Rome.

About women: horror viviparous.

That and look - divorced peacocks! .

I have not yet been.

I wish you good luck and Sea Cottage by the Sea!.

From the rules of etiquette: ... '.

We go through the song system helps.

Dick in the ass, two in the mind.

In vain the pilot thinks that the grass does not work.

Born to build not drink can not be.

Emergency Exit: to pull the cord, squeeze a pimple.

Gus pig - not a friend, Major.

Every little helps - will zhirnovato.

' Gay Shower '.

' Blue runs - the car sways. '.

God gave man two heads, but the blood is so small that they can only think of one by one.

Cobra - worm.

Who is the girl dancing, that it and Reap.

HeGEEsposoben.

In the forest swelled device homosexual.

The Apotheosis of the emancipation of woman- fag.

If the knight hit the left cheek, then it will fall on the right side.

Picked up a dick - do not say that 's not gay.

Hikogda not tell the foreman that the earth is round, and it will make to equate.

Marcelo Menstruani and Lauren Suck.

Life is life, in whatever position she held.

bunches of creativity.

Epitaph: ' Do not drink or smoke, and the hands do not grow out. '.

Turkish drummer Obstul by a dick - Bey.
The Japanese poet Yasuko This.
Bulgarian writer Stoyan Rakova.
Russian actress Lay Razdvinogova.
Japanese football Nakatika Naebuka.
' ER ' in Japanese - ' Someone Huevato '.

Mushroom - otsosinovik.

The smaller the woman you love, the pigeons are your dreams.

Mary. I fucking know.

Let's drink to you and me and a dick to them.

Of the money borrowed:.
You take someone else's - and for a time,.
Give away their - and for all!.

Life is beautiful, that 's amazing!.

What Russian does not like wet pussy!!.

If you live forever so that you do not gnawing conscience, she would die of hunger.

And hear, as if someone flashes me.

Climbs smell of leather.

Drink the beer cold - it does not harm.
Fuck hungry woman - she did not fart.

Pun pun with the word? .

No vulgar phrase - there is a vulgar ears!.

How to: blue pink dreams of childhood dreams of blue or pink childhood?.

A sense of deep oral satisfaction.

Smoking kills a woman with cancer.

Wherever you spit - all familiar faces.

She moaned and sucked his dick and he yawned and looked at the clock.

Chupa Chups - we have taught the world to suck!.

Do not remember lohom.

In the military department:.
Bolosy need to cut, what 's that, but it is you will always grow a.

Lingua Latina - non horse 's penis! .
Longus 's penis - basis of vita! .

Cause - time fun - money.

I met a girl - a crescent moon cycle!.

Girls are required to collect the flowers, because it teaches them skills in low-.
bend.

Eek - it's a bunch of stray.

The slogan for entry into the hive:.
Each bee on his cell phone!.

Woman as Champagne: colder, the more hits to the head, as if in a beautiful package, it is more expensive.

I walked the alleys of poplars,.
Disaster driven neminuchey.
In his pocket was a zero rubles.
But it was a dick - just in case.

Onanizmennoe fun.

I'm Dr. vshil two fingers in his mouth, and now I drink and get drunk.

If I was free,.
If I was the proud.
I could have used anyone.
happiness for all.
But since not free,.
And since not proud.
I can anyone.
Wherever and whenever.

Out cigarette, and then spat. Out spit, and there smoky.

Called himself an enema - climb in the ass.

I love women, whose legs near the head.

One wrong move and you are the father.

How many wolves do not feed, while the elephant is still more.

The highly skilled surgeon can help a bad dancer.

You are a member of the party? .

- How are you?.
- Regularly!.

He added the potatoes, add salt and put the tank on fire.

How many wolves do not feed, he eats and eats.

Do not leave a comrade in the bidet.

Mother-in-law - virgin.

Woman with a cart, and wolves are fed.

Three Wishes French: a shot of brandy before and after cigarette.

Silence - gold. You'll be a lot of silence - rob.

From Will: ... '.

- And, it is still you - she opened her eyes.

Federasty.

About ware. I have a friend there, so he had dick in a bucket will not fit.

If you wake up in the street - it means you have fallen asleep there.

You will pass - pass!.

Seven spans in the pubic.

The old horse did not furrow isprotit.

Looking for a woman, but not first got, and in French, and so, and on the piano, and on the couch, and wherever any say!.

About the Music. Piano - awful slippery tool.

If we assume that the abortion - the killing, then masturbation - it's genocide?.

How much should a poor Jew? .

- How did deceptive nature! .

What is your marital status? .

but if you want something big and clean - wash an elephant!.

What is the difference between men's and women's pants? .

What are the similarities between the washer and female sex organs? .

Do not paint the egg man, but man balls!.

Love is an ideal start, and ends with a blanket.

I went to buy eggs in the bath.

In Fpantsii drastically increased pozhdaemost: the uterus combined with the esophagus.

If chess - it is a sport, then masturbation - weightlifting.

...

- Hello! .
- Did you try to stand up comfortably!.

At home, home is best.

Workers of the world - fly.

Those who are illegal to sell vodka after seven - anti-Semites.

All genital - just.

- Darling, you love me? .

Given that there is a repair hairdresser, styling women will be.
in the men's room.

Change the nationality of one to two convictions. I agree to the terms of any.

Missing the big black diplomat. Have found, please return it to the Embassy of Nigeria.

Urgent selling half of a house at half price. Contact the afternoon. ask polhozyaina.

' Better safe than sorry ', - said the nun, pulling a condom out the candle.

A woman loves a man in himself, and the man himself in a woman.

Bend your fingers at the elbows.

There was Ivan. It serves him right!.

' Do not let us deceive ourselves in the place d.pugoy. Buy from us! '.

What is the most valuable in human milk? .

- Oh, do not beat me, I'm not Jewish, I just look intelligent!.

Life - a jump from the slow pussy in the coffin.

Drunkenness - a fight, and fight - girl!.

Hair loss - is a gradual shift of the head in the ass. First, in form, and then the content.

The house was all kpadenoe, and even some air spepty.

- What is ' neither house nor home '?.
- It is impotent without an apartment.

- Does a woman is a gift to meet men?.
- Enjoy, but not for nothing.

Vigorously carried out the youth gave themselves felt early gray hair in the armpits.

Eggs do not teach a hen, of course, where does a woman's egg.

Sweet cider vinegar is only in a mousetrap.

' The girls, padazhdi that vsazhu. '.

Man proposes, but it have.

Do you like to ride? .

I blyal Prohibition, whores, and I will damn!.

All people - brothers, all women - sisters.

Brussels sprouts - the dollar in Belgium.

Can we say ' ass with ears ' sincere person?.

Friendship is one thing, but what to do with libido.

Man - that sounds bitter.

He laughs last who shoots.

Bachelor 's motto: ' We can not take bare feet '.

In the House of Weights and Measures kept a bottle of Russian vodka, as the standard unit of work and earnings.

The Jewish Dilemma: ham for free.

- Where did you learn to swear so, boy?.
- This can not be learned. This is God's gift.

Who with the sword will come to us - he will receive a plowshare.

- Girl, what time?.
- No matter how sorry, but I'm not a girl.
- Then do without those stupid intros!.

- Doctor, I want to sleep with 10 fellows, but I do not want to change her husband.
- Take horseback riding.
- And what effect?.
- The same. At the time - take your breath away, and after - foot wheel stand!.

For you, the girls of marriageable age! .

- What did you dummy!.
- I do not dummy! .

I became a vegetarian not because I love animals. I hate plants.

To ensure that a person - a wild animal, it is enough to call him in the face of a pig.

' We take a telepath to work. Where to go - you know. '.

- Girl, what are you doing tonight?.
- Abortion.

The aggravation of the Peoples' Friendship.

We have every body on the shoulder!.

Amazement at her, I went up and brow dick.

Advertising Coca-Cola ( taking into account the Russian mentality ):.
Where are you? .
You what? .

I like a mountain goat.
At the top of the Caucasus!.
I'm sitting, taking off his pants,.
At the edge of the toilet!.

By analogy with the X-cite: Z- dec! .

Want poHuet? .

- I have two news for you: bad, very bad!.
All: Let the bad!.
- The universe is expanding!.
All: And a very bad?.
- We are still sober!.

In the taxi.
- Drive on Chekhov.
- Chekhov - bastard, bastard, bastard!.

How many good girls. evenings. In the morning, less than one.

A man is glued to the blonde.
- And I'm high. 189 cm!.
- Yes? .
- I have 10 more in another place.

To judge by saying ' no beauty better than the piss from a height ', the engineer was an incorrigible romantic Sidorov. After all, even in the toilet he was a ladder!.

I, in my opinion, clearly said 'NO', then - take out!.

When Semyonov was in college, he had a tail, and a. Now, after his marriage, and even horns grew.

It goes sailing into the hands of just what does not sink!.

Sun oblevalo land.

Came a friendly delegation from the UK, led by Margaret. Thatcher and her husband. Meet them Brezhnev and his retinue.
Welcomes them to Margaret Thatcher: I'm glad to see you.
Welcomes them and her husband: I'm glad to see you too.
It corresponds to Brezhnev: I'm glad to see you three.

In the taxi man quickly gets.
The taxi driver asks you where??.
Man: Do you care?.

The most important thing is not to win, and win first place.

Born to fly to crawl for money.

Парамелистобинцентрианасистальфуразистовая pipe.

The evolution is complete. And now - the disco!.

The teeth meet - on the stairs escorted.

Gut - a delicate matter.

Man - this sounds good, but it looks ugly.

A man without a wife, like a fish without a bicycle.

Hunger is not my aunt - and fall in love with a goat.

- Girl, you're an excellent student?.
- No. I ydovletvopitelnitsa.

' Passive necrophiliac '.

When I was born and saw a naked woman, you are so mad that two years was unable to speak.

The word ' fly ' - it's not a sparrow.

If you do not succeed the first time - destroy all evidence that you even tried.

This gentleman, always wipe his feet on the doormat before they knock on the door.

Stirlitz pulled the shirt back to front.
Mike groaned and gritted his teeth.

People sign.
You can not cram nevpihuemoe!.

My wife is waiting for her husband's home, all worn out.
Three o'clock in the morning, the doorbell, the threshold should pious: all in lipstick, in a torn shirt and obscenely drunk.
His wife exclaims:.
- And what do you think I love you in such a comin home?.
Her husband, defiantly pushing it by hand:.
- Stand back, I'm a guitar.

The Jew asks the rabbi:.
- Is the Day of Judgment to sleep with your wife?.
- Yes, you can.
- And with his mistress?.
- No, not with his mistress.
- Why?.
- Because in the Jewish Day of Judgment should not enjoy.

- Russia will become a NATO?.
- If necessary - and will enter into NATO! .

Walking down the street a little girl eating an apple, he suddenly choked and started coughing: - Khe, hee, hee, hee GGKGHHE, damn!.

New Year. A guy came into the forest to find the tree. In search of a Christmas tree runs into bear.
- You Th doing here?.
- Well, you see a bear New Year's all the same. tree to be.
- Do not take the birch trees.
- Well, bear with me, little kids, give at least a pine tree.
- Pine, birch, and go take it from here.

Man is by nature - the animal is clean and neat.

Eat peas - will open its second wind!.

He married myself - stop the companion.

Sitting on the tram a young expectant mother with a big belly. Skirts can not be seen, only bare feet.
It takes the old man on the way out, she smiles:.
- The son will have you.
It all shines and asks:.
- How do you know?.
- See Beard.

- And now I have a haircut ' a boy '.
- I hope everything else is left for a girl?.

Came a young lady of an old fart.
The first wedding night, she lies in bed and waiting for. Dedok comes in pajamas, all trembling, and three fingers shows.
The girl excitedly:.
- What three times?.
Grandfather:.
- No, I choose which finger.

Why are the stronger sex is not one that drags home a large quantity of products - and one that can no longer drink?.
Because no one has ever tried to call a horse or donkey crown of creation only for the fact that they drag on the entire life of a gravity.

Why do men think their penis - is a magic wand that can make happy any woman?.
Because this is the case.

Why is having your own man, you have to pay money to other men in order to fix the valve ( tank, car, etc. Dr.. )?.
Because having your own woman - sometimes have to pay money to other women because they are not at the right time ' headache '.

Why, after ten minutes you pretended stormy orgasm ( with groans and struggles, as in the movie) - you still must ask every time - ' you cum ' or ' your good '?!.
Because I did not try for yourself. Is it not clear?.

Why are men the words ' I love you ' and ' I want you ' are synonymous?.
Because love - is a derivative of the sex.

Why dirty socks (pants, shirt and t. Dr.. ) - Are those which have some spots, or ones that reek?.
Because the old clothes ( bras, panties and t. Dr.. ) - Not those who bought long ago - and those who have been at least once wore.

Humble yourselves! . With many we do a lot worse.

Man Woman asks:.
- Chupa Chups buy shalt suck?.
It says:.
- I would.
He told her:.
- Well, suck, then buy.

A teacher at the school gives children a question:.
- Children from any vegetable tears flow?.
Little Johnny pulls hard hand. The teacher did not want to call it, but the rest are silent.
- Well, Little Johnny, tell me.
Little Johnny:.
- From the potatoes!.
The teacher:.
- What is it? .
- Yes? .

Only a woman can hit a flower. Preferably not in a pot.

How can we really get married - so I will give much better.

Do not strive to be the richest man in the cemetery.

If a woman asks - be patient, but give.

Any skirt looks best on the back of a chair.

Being Old women - most importantly in the process does not become a necrophiliac.

In a crowded bus:.
- Man, what are you so jerks who 's stopping you?.
- Your pants, girl, your panties.

Gingerbread Man is running through the woods - a red-cheeked, fresh from the oven.
Towards the Wolf:.
- And I 'll eat you!.
Gingerbread Man, without saying a word, Wolf in the liver -. !.
He wheezed, half bent over, dropped to his knees. Gingerbread it again kicked his foot - and tears:.
- That time flies! .

In Ukraine, a fertile soil, that if votknesh stick - that something will be born - or the boy or girl.

- Kate, and you have a childhood nickname was?.
- Yes. Winnie the Pooh.
- That's because you're so plump and plump!?.
- No. Just friends were pigs.

From the case histories:.
- The patient is active in bed. tongue moist, rhythmic.

A woman sex therapist to:.
- Doctor, when I sleep with my husband, my in the right side of the tunic.
The doctor examined her:.
- You are right, call her husband.
Part of her husband, a physician:.
- Undress!.
He undresses, and the device it hangs below the knee.
doctor:.
- Yes -ah, with the only horses.
husband:.
- Tried - dead, and his wife only in the side splits.

Never raise your hand on the baby! .

I'm at an age when women consent to scare more than a refusal to.

The couple at the doctor's.
wife:.
- Doctor! .
- Have you tried to wear seductive lingerie transparent, fondle himself in front of a partner, causing the rise in the poses?.
husband:.
- Tried, does not help.

Would you like to sleep - look for a girlfriend.

Etiquette - is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed.

It is unfair when you get their just deserts!.

A drop of nicotine can kill a horse, a bottle of beer brigade working revives.

My cop ( English. , vulg. ) - My cop.
Garbage ( Russian. , vulg. ) - Police.

( Beauty Girl ) x ( her mind ) x ( its accessibility ) = constant.

Lecturer at the Department of Linguistics students explain the meaning of the word ' illusion ':.
- Just imagine, you are acquainted with the beautiful girl. For a year, winning her affection, caring for her, driving her to expensive restaurants, giving expensive gifts. Finally she agrees to stay with you at night. You slowly undress her, kiss, that you enter into it, and do you think: ' I'm in heaven! ' .

A guy with a girl on a first date. The guy excitedly:.
- Honey, I 'll give you the star.
- My dear, I told you this pussy. Let's just quickly.

The neighbor is no longer goes to him for salt, sugar and onions. And comes immediately after the pepper!.

From each according to his mind - to everyone on the head.

Unjustly wronged - deserves!.

- Isaac! .
- Well, now you're convinced that he is a pervert?.

- Be so kind! .

- Woman, where are you so tanned? .

- Where are the bosses come from?.
- Quiet you! .

The woman said to her friend:.
I'm not saying that your husband a wart on his penis! .

If you are going to hunt, the hunter said to his wife:.
- Do you have three choices: either you go with me, or I fuck you in the ass, or you do me a blowjob. Just think - while I gather a dog.
Half an hour later he comes:.
- Well, what is decided?.
The wife says:.
- To go with you, I do not want it in the ass I do not like - remains in the mouth.
She starts to suck on - and suddenly said with disgust:.
- What kind of lousy taste?!.
The husband replies:.
- Yes, a dog, too, decided not to go.

- Thank you!.
- Not that.

The wife to her husband:.
- Let 's have sex now on the floor.
- Why?.
- I'd like to feel something solid.

For that to take - all nice!.

A young man - is the one that gets out of bed to rest.

- Man, tell me how many partisans in the woods sits a sack of potatoes ladies!.
- I have ten of their friends will not betray!.

- How to properly fuck a woman in a dark room?.
- It is necessary to put the thumb of his right hand on her spine - and drive down to the second click.

The first wedding night.
guy:.
- Honey, I do you first?.
Girl:.
- Well, of course, my dear. What the dick about it EVERYTHING ask?!.

New girls to participate in a ski show in Switzerland!.
Two sticks and grease - guaranteed! .

Young couple in a park late at night.
She said:.
- How loud chirping cicadas!.
He says:.
- This is not a cicada!.
- What is it?.
- Lightning on the fly.

Sit at the bar 2 ' new Russian '. One always looks under the table. The second broke down and looked, too, and in addition to their knees is the size of a tennis court out of the box of chocolates.
He asks:.
- How did you get?.
- Yes, I have a gin.
- Can I do anything I order?.
- It is possible, but it's a little hard of hearing.
- Well, okay, I wish that I fell to the ' bucks '!.
It rained faxes.
- And why so?.
- I told you that he was deaf. you think I ordered a 30 cm. Tennis?.

From a letter:.
' With one hand I keep your photograph and the other - I think about you. '.

All the neighbors are bad. But the neighbors above the bottom Joneses.

- Girl, you are no one said you look like Marilyn Monroe?.
- No.
- And rightly so! .

In the theater.
Prompter, in a whisper:.
- molds.

- Champagne! .

One man, a family man 42 years old, worked for 25 years at the bakery. One day, coming home very frightened, he told his wife that he had a great desire to shove his cock in bread room.
His wife suggested he see a psychiatrist - but he said that he would feel uncomfortable, and he will overcome this problem.
Three months later a man came very upset. The wife asked:.
- What is it?.
- Do you remember I told you three months ago, said that I wanted to shove his cock in bread room?.
- God! .
- Yes.
- So what?.
- I was fired.
- How terrible! .
- And, it also fired.

Sent to a remote village 's new young priest. A church is located on the edge of the village, next to the churchyard.
Here comes the night, the priest celebrated Vespers, all the people went home. Suddenly, a wild storm, impenetrable darkness, the priest by himself, trembling with fear is going to go home, opens the door of the church, it appears very quickly run up to its shacks began, shaking, to search for the key, it is hardly, inserts into the lock - .
- Father, bless us!!.
The priest making the sign of his cross:.
- Fuck!.

A man in a hat shop re-measure all that is possible, but not pick up a suitable.
Exhausted the saleswoman asks:.
- Maybe you give a hat?.
- Or maybe you give the pussy!? .

Decent bastard - this is equivalent to a wise fool.

In the keyhole look unseemly, but it is interesting.

Atlanta's shrinking: in the past held the sky, now - a balcony.

Want to bring a person to MS - give him a debt of.

When Fortune turned his back - is the fate of.

Ad:.
Solid Company will lease punch.

Courage - this is when your wife catches you in bed with his best friend - and you're fun to slam her on the butt and say, ' You're next! '.

Communicate with three prostitutes.
One says:.
- I'm 5 minutes from the impotent man do!.
Other like this:.
- Ta! .
The third thought and thought and said:.
- I'm 5 minutes Rubik's cube collecting language.

Girl sitting in the sandbox, suitable boy, takes her hand and puts her hand into his pants. The girl jumps up and runs home with a fright. Runs into the entrance walk to the ninth floor just behind the call hears the heavy breathing turns his head, he is a boy and plaintively says, ... '.

Came deaf to the drugstore to buy condoms. Grunts, crawls out of the skin, explains, worn out and then took the device and put it on the counter, and a number of money. The seller looked undid his pants and pulled out his own, then silently took the money. Deaf-mute was stunned, and the seller says, ' I'm not sure - do not play. '.

Marriage - the best way to spend the winter.

Wedding - a case brought to the end.

Rest on the World.

Late in the light end of the world better, or better yet - Light at the end!.

If a Jew suddenly forgets that he is a Jew - a Gentile will remind him about it!.

And he patted her hand paternally on the shoulder.
And not just on the shoulder.
And not only the paternal.
AND NOT JUST HAND.

Good to have a sharp tongue - no one will strive to make you lick your ass.

Woman's desire to the law! .

Without money, you can always be happy! .

Man comes to a speech therapist:.
- Doctor, I have a letter. not pronounce!.
- And, in my opinion, you are perfectly pronounces the letter.
- Well, not chavchem!.

- Young man, you do not please sharp! . And the main bra at us - Hope Fillipovna!.

Speaking of spouses in the kitchen at the expense of adultery:.
- Honey, you must understand one thing. When you have - we have it! .

The main purpose in life - the good neighbor.

There are three reasons for absenteeism: forgotten, washed down or scored.

For a woman is not as important as it will put itself - like how she put herself.

But the female is similar to the blue. how disgusting!.

A friend - this is such a wonderful friend whom you can even fuck!.

On this day, Anna Karenina, fell right on schedule.

A friend says to another:.
- I'm driving, it means that holiday home. I go to the coupe - and there is blonde, breasts - in! And legs - in!, Indescribable beauty. Starts to move, then, the train - and we are alone with her, no one else in the compartment! . In general, fuck it, buzz - do not pass. Suddenly, she - in tears. I told her, was to be: ' What are you? '. And she says - they say, my husband - a good, loyal, I love it, never changed - and then the devil beguiled. And cries - so pitifully, that as much I cried.
- Well, and?.
- What Really?.
- Then what?.
- Then what? .

Naked before the mirror admiring the Georgians, turns his back to the mirror and he gets.
Georgians:.
- Quiet, macaws, their.

The poster in the dining room: Fingers and eggs in the salt does not dip.

Man - that sounds Mr..

misheard:.
Advertising Pepsi: * UCA? .









Discuss.